Anyone who is yet to party on a boat may be imagining tuxedos, dolphins leaping overhead, mermaids waving as you sail past and standing with your newly found soul mate at the head of the boat, Jack and Rose style. However expectations are never quite the same as reality, and while it may not be the classy evening Lonely Island has made you imagine, it’s a hell of a lot more fun. To help you out and prevent mistakes like actually wearing a tuxedo, here’s a few tips on preparing for your first boat party.
DO NOT WEAR HEELS
It may seem like a good idea at the time, but the second you step onto that boat you’ll realise what a terrible mistake you’ve made. There is always one person who makes this mistake and they spend the entire night in a corner, holding on to something, unable to escape from the dude that keeps asking for their number because they literally can’t walk away.
DO NOT WEAR WHITE
The boat parties get pretty wild and as a result of dancing like crazy on a moving vehicle drinks tend to be spilled. Unless you join the heel-wearer in the corner, getting splashed is almost unavoidable. Also, don’t go near anyone who decided to wear white because you do not want to be trapped on a boat with the person whose white outfit you’ve just spilt sangria all over.
WEAR STRETCHY PANTS
The bottom deck of the boat has poles, and while when you first board the boat you may think you’re above that, you’re not. It’s a fricking boat party and you will end up pole dancing along with everyone else; the last thing you want is to be walking around with a massive rip in your pants all night.
Pretty effective way of picking up on a boat party. Just sit back and watch as the chaos unfolds, drinks flying everywhere and soaking people who will now be in desperate need of something to clean themselves up (try not to look quite as psychotic as that sounds though or it definitely won’t work at all). Then take your pick of the beer and sangria soaked boat partiers and save the day.
CONSIDER A COSTUME
You’ll find that a lot of nautical parties quite enjoy playing dress up. They generally tend to be groups of stag or hen parties that will make up the majority of the people on the boat and if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em. Mankinis and blonde wigs are for some reason always a favourite.
TRY SOME BALANCE EXERCISES
Get a balance board or maybe do some yoga. Drunk dancing is messy enough on a floor that doesn’t move, let alone with an actual ocean moving underneath it. How impressive will it be when everyone else falls to one side in unison while you stand, cool and collected, unspilled drunk still in hand.